October 2008
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Everyday is a struggle, a remembrance of how it once was, when everything was simpler, when we were easier to please; when, even for a fleeting moment, there was trust.
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Lately, I have been wondering how a conversation with my ex would sound like. The thought of talking to him again intrigues me. It’s been years, surely we’ve grown apart, I doubt that we still have anything in common. What do I tell him? What will he say? I doubt that we’d have anything to talk about.
I’d probably ask him how his family is as I’ve always liked them....
BURNOUT.
I can’t take this. I’m stuck in a rut. Sadness usually kicks in during times like these. That, I’m afraid of.
Every day seems to be blending into each other. I need something new to happen, ANYTHING. The weather isn’t helping, either. I feel sick. UGH.
Dum Spiro, Spero
While I breathe, I hope.
Each breath of pain were replaced with sighs of relief.
For this, I am grateful.
In 2007, I wrote this.
I’m watching the sunrise. New days aren’t that exciting to me anymore, they don’t hold promises of new beginnings, they’re just like the days before them; cold, empty, and meaningless.
I came across this while reading my old planner.
Shiz, how sad. Life was fucked then in ALL POSSIBLE WAYS.
You can't blame me.
I refuse to be a hypocrite. I still think about it from time to time. I can not honestly tell you that I’ve gotten over the fact that our dream had died. Yes, it’s been years. It’s been awhile, but it still happened. Nothing could really change that fact; not time, not distance, not even forgiveness. Although all has been forgiven, the pain will always be remembered. I...
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Ok, so later.
As much as I don’t want to see you and listen to your bull all night, I might. Life sucks. But oh well.